He would not get off this thing.
He is a master at the art of Fubbing- the art of
texting,tweeting,updating your FB status,holding conversation,drinking,chewing,
scratching and smiling charmingly at any of the above but all at the same time.
One day he came to visit me at my shop and if memory serves this
was a week after his birthday as we hadn't seen each other on that day and were
celebrating that day. 17th January. We sat around as my assistants worked and a
friend of mine had visited, it was really chilled. I had a couple of clients
waiting for their nails to get done and left one man in a room with at least 8
females and he was not intimidated.
He was so in his element when I went down to the bank to make my
deposits, right there in front of my employees he collected 5 phone numbers on
the pretext of being the manager of a restaurant and looking for waitresses.
Upon my return he excused himself to buy some food and drinks and asked to
leave his phone on the charger.
The minute the door closed behind him my most
senior therapist says
'mama he has all these girl's numbers this guy is a dodgy
character'.
My friend casually picked it up and read through no less than 16
conversations with girls some who even seemed to still be in high school. All
sexually charged. He had even slept with one that morning after having spent
the night with another. He was collecting Birthday Sex.
I didn't even finish reading through the ones I was shown and
decided I am the one person he will never forget. I made a huge play at needing
to get home as soon as possible and get to give him the goodies as promised. I
shut the shop and went home with him. I had already told my friend and the maid
to ignore anything they heard and knew the whole plan I had devised. There was
a power cut and I made a quick gas cooked meal of pasta (which gives him the
runs) and lounged as I watched him grumble his way through the meal like he had
bought any food in that house. He had expected a feast since it was his
birthday. In retrospect I should have just fed him instant noodles.
As he was finishing off the eating I casually asked if he had
anything he wanted to tell me to which he emphatically asserted his undying
love for me. I told him hurry up and get to bed so I could show him how much I
love him too. The young man darted to my room and I ominously locked the door
as I took hold of two long scarves and threw them on the bed.
The overzealous twat had already stripped down to his boxers and
gladly lay back as I tied him to the headboard dead on 8pm and proceeded...I
did not want to exchange as much as a kiss with this scum and made sure he was
as close to the edge as I could get him without making him suspect anything was
amiss.
I stroked and glided, fully
clothed and touched and whispered and teased for a good thirty minutes
...then stopped.
(FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER @mazituwe)
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