And then there was Superpeen.
Idiot.
The problem with this man was that he was in a
body that was way too small for the ammunition he was packing below the belt.
He knew it. He lived as if his life's mission was to ensure any female with a
functioning vaginal orifice had to know the same too. He made no bones about
the dissemination (read de-semenation) of this said bone.
Ohhh but none of these things were apparent when his gargantuan phallus and smooth tongue swept me off my feet and I found myself eagerly placing my heels over my own head both literally and figuratively.
Look I was inspired, ok?
In many ways he made me feel gorgeous and was
not shy about having me towering over his very slight frame in my high heels as
he proudly introduced me to anyone who was unfortunate enough to hover around
us longer than a few seconds. I was his woman and he knew no matter how
ice-queen-boss-lady I came across at my work or home he could have me purring
like a satisfied tabby as soon as we got alone. He was fun to be around, just a
few months older than me, fun loving, popular, not the best looking but not the
type you would identify with a nod of the head in a crowd.
Peen was well dressed, well spoken, well
groomed, articulate and suave. But short. I never got over his height deficiency.
It was emphasised on dates that would end up on occasion as hanging with 'the
boys'.
One of
his cousins very sarcastically asked me that night if he could call me 'MOMZ'
coz he's never been able to all anyone that, like wtf? I was offended but
decided this teenage twat had just signed his own cousin's back away. Peen
wasn't sleeping that night making sure I got back into a good purring mood. We
dated for a few months and things got physical after I had applied less than
half of the 90 day rule and had subjected him to taunting for far longer than
any virile man could handle. It wasn't the best I had ever or was to ever have
but it was better than 'aaight'.
I let him violate me by candlelight and half
giggled as he stood erect at the foot of the bed and that thing was so big I
wondered how he didn't faint from all the blood rushing there all at once. The
shadow he made on the wall was even worse; his boy looked bigger than his whole
body did!
Anyway we got on well for several months. We
spent Christmas and the New Year together, everything was going exceedingly
well.
Until he got a Blackberry.
(FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER @mazituwe)
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